Kids Say and Do the Darnest Things..

I wanted to add this to my blog because I have five kids that are so funny. I sometimes forget all the funny things they say so I want to share them with you and when I need a good laugh I can come back and read it myself. Let me introduce you to my oldest daughter first.
Destiny is of course the one on the left who is posing with my youngest daughter Charlie. They actually ended up taking my Camera into the Bathroom at Fenway Park and started having a photo shoot in the Bathroom. Any way Destiny is my amazing, hard headed, funny child. She is twelve years old and the mouth of an adult. So moving from the west to the east was probably the hardest thing Destiny has had to do in her 12 years of life and since we have moved to the west we have moved three times, so that's three different schools. Destiny has found it extremely hard to make friends, not that she hasn't made friends but finding that one friend that is a true friend is what has been the hardest. Those type of friends are usually found when we are young and since we move so much she has had a hard time making that connection with someone. Any who Destiny asked me why I loved her obviously needing some reassurance. At the time I was painting the living room and trying to keep the little ones out of the paint. I asked her if we could discuss this later because I needed to concentrate on painting. Later that day she comes to me and says that she really does not want to go back to school and so I of course told her its going to be okay and she is going to make new friends. What she said made me laugh... She says, Mom... I don't fit in with the nerds and I don't fit in with the cool kids, so where do I fit in? I just started laughing and said that's why I love you. Destiny is so in tune to people, and she knows who she isn't but not quite sure who she is yet. She thinks way above her age and the things that come out of her mouth sometimes just amazes me. I wish she could find that one true friend but until then I guess she'll just have to make do with me. So I wanted to also tell you something funny she did.. Now remember she is a Jonas Brother Junkie and if I could find a way for her to meet Nick Jonas I would do it in a heart beat. So she has several posters of Nick Jonas but this one day I was coming up the stairs to go to my room when I glanced behind me and saw a guy laying in her bed. I nearly jumped out of my skin and took the ninja fighting stance, ready to kick but. Then I realized she had laid a poster of Nick Jonas in her bed with his head propped on a pillow. I nearly died of a heart attack, she had made a spot in her bed for Nick to lay. I said to her, do you need a check up from the neck up and she just started laughing. See Destiny is a lot like me and loves to make people laugh so doing odd things like this is normal for her.
So lets meet Ryann. We pronounce her name like Ryan the boys name but spelt it that way so if she felt like changing it to a girl pronunciation she could. Ryann reminds me of myself when I was young because she is such a procrastinator.. If Ryann is told to do something and she then comes up missing "Check the Bathroom,," Ryann always seems to have to go number 2 anytime she is told to clean or do her chores. The funny thing is I just took her to the doctor because her stomach was bothering her and they sent us over for ex rays. Come to find out she is backed up and needs to go the bathroom more. I started laughing because as often as she says she using the bathroom, she hasn't been. This is probably not the story Ryann would like me to tell about her but if I didn't you wouldn't get her. She is very kind hearted but the laziest of all my kids. I would have to say the funniest thing she has said to me is, once when I was going to the store I had to come back home because I forgot my shoes. I know that doesn't make sense that someone would forget there shoes but I hate wearing shoes and only wear them when I am going out somewhere that I know I am going in. Any way Ryann says to me, Do you want me to tell you where they are? I said sure, that would help.. And she replied seriously, Go to the hall closet, take a left then a right and start digging. I never laughed so hard. She had just given me directions to my shoes and she was serious..
So lets meet Tori, she is my 3rd daughter and the little odd ball of the family. She looks nothing like her sisters but looks exactly like me when I was her age. My mom says its like looking at me all over again. Tori is also one of my daughters that is on the Autism spectrum and makes me laugh the most because she takes everything so seriously and doesn't understand normal body language, gestures or demeanor. Tori has me going in every direction and most of the time I think she is on a roller coaster herself and she doesn't know where the breaks are. Like I said Tori takes everything seriously even though she has a great sense of humor. The other day in the car Tori ask me what a Sandwich is made of? I thought to myself what a odd question because she eats a sandwich quite often. So I responded with, bread, meat, cheese anything that you would like to put on a Sandwich. She says, No I mean what is a sandwich made of?
Now trying to tap into what she might be thinking I asked her,
what do you mean already realizing she must mean the word Sandwich itself.. She then asked, is it made out of sand? I couldn't help myself when I answered, "Yes and Witches too!!" Tori is such a lovely child and I love to watch her experience life through her eyes. Because of her Autism she does odd ball things and one of them that stands out the most is when I got up around three in the morning I had found her in her room and she had emptied the entire dishwasher onto her bed. She had seven settings laid out on her bed with fork, knives, spoons and plates and On each plate she had baby rice cereal and enfamil formula as the main entree!! I cant help but laugh when it comes to Tori because I don't think she knows why she does the things she does half the time. Okay, lets get to my Moon. My fourth daughter we named after her dad who is a boat driver in the Coast Guard.. Her name is Saylor and we call her Moon... Can you guess why? Its because of the huge head she had when she was a baby, it reminded me of the moon. No, that's not why but its funny any way. If you remember the Cartoon Sailor Moon, that's where we got the Moon from and it just kind of stuck because of the huge head..lol Saylor is also an interesting child on the Autism Spectrum with developmental delays. She is so funny just like the rest of us but I can see sometimes the little devil come out from behind those big beautiful eyes..
Saylor is so smart despite her delays and has defiantly compensated for them. Saylor is always thinking of how she is going to make you laugh next and one day I had asked her to grab me a soda.. She is so easy and rarely argues but this day she had something up her sleeve. She said, sure and brought me a soda immediately but when I opened it I was not expecting it to explode in my face. I looked over at her and she is giggling to herself. I said to her, did you do that on purpose. and she said yes.. We laughed so hard because that was her first real successful joke she had played on someone.. And of course it had to be me! Saylor is always thinking about what goes on around her as well and when she said this next comment I was intrigued to what really goes on in that little head of hers. I ask my girls to pick up after themselves and it ends up being more of a fight then I would like it to be. I would love if my girls would just help out and pick up the mess they made without me having to remind them contently. Saylor one day decides to tell my oldest daughter that she is not going to help tidy up the living room. When Destiny asked her why, she responded with, " I'm not going to clean until mom and dad start cleaning, too!" I pulled Saylor aside and asked her if she had said this while I am doing the dishes and She, said yes she had said it and when I told her she needed to clean up after herself, she said I don't make the mess and you and dad don't clean up either.. I couldn't believe that my five year old was talking to me like this. Where did she get this attitude from? Not me...lol She wasn't trying to be rude when she said it she was just trying to make me see her point but for a five year old to think this way made me laugh. Last but not least is Charlie the baby.. She is also so funny and as I continue telling stories you will see how funny these kids really are.lol Charlie has been sick since she was born and we called her our 100,000 dollar baby because that's what it cost in the first few months of her life. She has upper respiratory distress which causes her asthma to act up unexpectedly resulting in a ER visit and stay. Since moving to the East coast she has been 100% better and only 2 visits to the ER in two years. Its been wonderful. Any who Charlie had to have attitude to deal with all of this and she kept it as time went on. The funniest thing I can think of for Charlie is the time she took a bath in Peanut Butter. She had her hair out and it was all frizzy like Einstein and then painted herself from head to toe in peanut butter. I wish I had that picture on this computer because It was so funny. It took me nearly a half hour to scrape the layers of peanut butter off her skin. She also is funny with her comments and just the other day she wanted to share her dads ice cream. She went up to him with her puppy dog eyes and said, Dad! I still haven't told the other girls I'm your favorite. Reminding you that she is only 4, I was flabbergasted at this comment. How does a 4 year old know to say something like that to get her dads ice cream?.. Oh my she is hilarious and there is so much more to come, having five girls is going to be of course a adventure especially in their teenage years but I am looking forward to it and I cant wait to be a part of it all...I hope you all enjoyed meeting my girls and I will be posting more often about the funny things they say and do, so stay tuned....

Continued: Harry Potter to the Hospital

So I left off with my friend Beverly telling me to go ask one of my husbands crew from the Coast Guard to help me out. This was of course embarrassing to have to ask my husbands work to help me out but I did and the little gentleman that helped me out was so sweet I wanted to squeeze his cheeks till his face popped. Any way, he now tries to pull the gas can out of the gas tank and becomes just as baffled as I was about how this gas can got stuck in the first place. I mean who do you even call in a situation like this? Its not like they have a 1-800 service for gas cans stuck in gas tanks...So the little guy runs back to the station to grab a butter knife to hopefully pry out the nozzle but after a few attempts at this it fails and I am running through my head who in the heck do you call for something like this?.. He says to me, I think I need something smaller to fit in to the hole and so I recommended a toothpick. My daughter ran to Beverly's to fetch a toothpick after she let me know that she would like to do a cheer for me with the letters "D" "U" "M" "B".. I couldn't help but laugh because she has a crazy sense of humor like myself but I told her she was lucky at this moment that she decided to keep her cheer to herself..lol
She returned with a plastic toothpick and the little gentleman was able to pry the can out of the tank with this little green toothpick. I held the toothpick in my hands and shouted in the air like a Frankenstein movie "I'm a GENIUS.." And then I petted the toothpick saying " I love you Little Toothpick" You can only make jokes in a situation like this because what really is the point of getting angry. There is not one, you make do with what you are dealt and roll with the punches. I believe every hard moment is just another chance to make yourself stronger and make the adventure more fun.
I hugged the Coast Guard Boy with a huge bear hug saying "THANK YOU" a few times. You should have seen his face. I know he wasn't quite sure if his boss's wife should be hugging him..lol
This day and the few days after turned out to be very trying as my husband returned home from surgery with a Stent in his Kidney and as the next few days proved to be trying. I gritted my teeth and hung in there hoping my husband would start feeling better because if I had to deal with his crankiness for much longer, I would have gotten a motel.
I'm sorry but I have five kids and it seems every time your husband gets sick he becomes another child, depending on me for his every need. I'm not complaining about being needed by him but I know when I get sick, he still has to go to work and I still have to get out of bed and take care of everything.
For instance, I sprained my ankle on my second daughters 4th birthday and it swelled ten times its normal size. They half casted it and sent me home, but what seemed to amaze me was that even though I couldn't walk my husband couldn't get the time off to take care of me. I had a 7,4 and 1 year old plus a brand new baby who was only 3 months old. I ended up taking the cast off, bringing in a wagon so that I could push my self down the hall in the wagon while carrying my new baby. It was insane, and that was another one of those moments I didn't think I was going to make it through with a full head of hair intact.
So, my husband had his Stent removed and he returned back to work this morning. Thank you God, it was defiantly scary there for a while but I am so blessed that he had a great recovery.

Harry Potter to the Hospital

This week has been one of those weeks that fly by and you wonder how you made it through it without a mental breakdown. It was crazy from the get go, and still the drama replays over and over in my head like a bad movie flick.
So let me tell you how it started and hold on to your seats because its a wild roller coaster of fun, laughter, sarcasm and tears..AHHHHH
Let me tell you about the weekend before first when we went and saw "The Night at the Museum." I will be doing a review on this movie as well.. Any way, when we were at the movie theatre we saw this huge display of the new movie 2012 where the scene was a huge city sinking into the ocean.. As a christian I know that the world is not going to end on December 21st 2012 because Jesus says, I will come like a thief in the night, no one will know the day nor the hour. If you think about what Jesus says here its pretty clear that he didn't say that the world is going to end December 21,2012 but this is a good scare tactic to get the world scared enough to go out and buy stuff they don't need to prepare for the end of the world. Example: Remember the Y2K when the end of the world was suppose to happen in the year 2000.
So my husband was raised in a family that believes Jesus does not exist and mocks who ever says any different. My husband new nothing about Jesus until he met me and the journey to his salvation has been a long one even though every step has been in progress.
Because of this movie display for 2012 my husband gets scared and worries that he will have to watch his children die in a huge massive wave, "Being in the Coast Guard and driving boat in 40 foot seas, you can imagine how scary this looked to him.
To make a longer story short, My husband said the sinners prayer and became saved last weekend. Now his mission is to take this short life we have and make it count, he wants to spend every moment enjoying the little moments instead of waiting for the next big moment.
Now every Sunday we will be going to see a movie together as a family and this weekend he had planned the whole weekend out. Saturday we would go see Harry Potter ( I will be reviewing this movie as well) then Saturday night we were going to a pirate party on the docks with some friends he knows through work and finally Sunday we would be going to Fenway Park for a tour put on by the USO a military sponsored program.
So Monday after this wonderful weekend spent with my family my husband calls and says he is on his way home from a meeting but isn't feeling well. For those of you that remember my last post when my husband was in the hospital for Kidney stones, It was just the beginning for the quake.
My daughter Ryann is going to home to stay with my mom for a few weeks and she leaves on Tuesday, so after my husband got home I took her to the store to get what she needed for the flight home. I was gone longer then I wanted to be and when I walked in the door I found my husband on the bathroom floor shaking, sweating and vomiting.
I dropped everything and ran in the bathroom to him and found him in a state of shock. I had to quickly change him out of his uniform into civilian clothing and call 911.
They rushed him to the hospital and I got my girls dressed and out the door driving to the hospital not far behind the ambulance.
My crazy neighbor who lives in the church next door had my oldest daughter with her so I had to leave a note telling them where I went. The reason we call her the crazy lady who lives in the church is because she is just like me, Doesn't fit in with the norm, loves to laugh and doesn't attend the PTA...HA
Any who, when I arrived at the hospital my husband was worse then when I just saw him 30 minutes prior. I actually thought that he was going to die that night and I watch as he became colder, pale and shaking uncontrollably.
There was a moment that I thought I couldn't stand there and watch this anymore, I didn't want to watch my husband die and I had seen death enough to know I didn't want to see it again.
Thank goodness he had said that he wanted to sleep and I took the girls home to feed them and check in on Destiny who was still with the crazy lady next door.. By the way her name is Beverly and I love her dearly..
When I got to Beverly's her and her husband had made us dinner so that I wouldn't have to cook. She then told me that she would take Ryann to the airport in the morning for me, which was now a great weight lifted off my shoulders. I didn't know how I was going to get everything done by myself and get back to the hospital. My husband called and told me that they were admitting him and that he would be going in for surgery in the morning. Yeah me, now you can imagine what a wreck I was.
I decided to stay home with the girls and return in the morning for his surgery. Okay now here is where it gets comical. Beverly shows up at 6 in the morning to take Ryann to the airport for me and when I went outside I saw a car that was not hers. I said, who's car is that...?
She said, that's my Lemo!
What...Are you serious I responded..
Yep, I'm not driving to the airport in this weather.. Which it was raining..
She is so funny, she makes me laugh. She treated my oldest two daughters to a lemo ride to the airport.
After waiting to hear from my husband she had returned with my oldest Daughter and I had been getting ready to go to the hospital. I drove my car next door and parked on the hill so I could thank her for taking them to airport for me.
When I returned to my car Destiny had turned it off so she could run to the bathroom before we left and when I got back in and started it, it wouldn't start. OH MY GOODNESS are you serious...
My car had run out of gas and now I was standing in the rain with a small can of gas we use for the lawn mower.
All I needed was enough to get it started and make it to the gas station. It was because I was sitting on the hill and all the little gas I did have had sat in the front of the tank not allowing it to disperse through the lines.
SOOOO, I go to pull the gas can out of the tank and it is now stuck. OH MY GOODNESS AGAIN,
It would not come out at all and I looked up into the sky and started laughing hysterically on the verge of breaking down into a fit of tears..
I had never run into a scenario like this so I had no idea who to even call about a gas can stuck in my gas tank. Beverly comes out of her house and looks at me and then looks at the tank, then looking back at me again.
She says, I don't know what to tell you, I cant help you and I have no one here that can help. She then said run to the coast guard station and get one of the guys to help.
Normally, I don't like asking guys for help because their is not much a guy can do that I cant do as well, and under the circumstances I had to swallow my pride and go ask for help.
I have to go for a little bit but I will be back with the rest of the story..
Besides its getting a little long
TO BE CONTINUED.....

Military Madness

Don't get me wrong when you read this. Being a military wife, I am hole hearted for the military, what it stands for and I am proud to be an American. Dealing with daily issues that somehow always seem to come back to how the military controls every situation and aspect of our lives can be frustrating.
Just a little F.Y.I we as a military family are not covered 100% with medical insurance and or Dental insurance. We have a co-pay for medications, doctors and dentist. But my husband it cover 100% on everything because he is an active duty military member. I think that's fantastic but what about his family? Even though we don't do his job and technically have joined the military, we as a family endure all the pain he does as no longer having an identity. I don't have a say on where we go, how long we stay there, if I want to leave my family, If my husband is deployed or anything that has to do with running my own life.
My reason for this info is so you can understand the story I am about to tell. Now listen closely its a wild roller coaster of emotions that happens in a time frame of only 48 hours.
I suffer from restless leg syndrome and so the night before all this happened I only had two hours of sleep because I had a dentist appointment for two of my girls at nine in the morning. Now remember emotions fly high when you have no sleep and anything can make you breakdown at a moments notice no matter who is around.
My daughter Saylor is on the Autism Spectrum along with my other daughter Tori. Saylor has Developmental Delays and from the time she started to learn how to eat she pocketed her food in her cheeks because she never got the concept that you can chew, swallow and breath at the same time. This ended up with rotting of all her teeth along the gum line.
When she was two and we were living back in Washington no one would work on her and then the one dentist I did find that would wanted to charge me 4000.00 dollars and have her put under for two hours. Or we could wait till she was older and he could work on her a few teeth at a time. Well, thank you very much but I don't have four thousand dollars and I don't feel comfortable putting my two year old under for a two hour time frame.
So shortly after we move to Massachusetts and I find this dentist who starts working on her with nitrous oxide and it was going great but he wanted to be paid up front at every visit. He had given me an estimate of over two thousand dollars and they didn't allow payments. Okay, fine! We Ended up getting money monthly from my in laws to help us out because the cost of living was triple of what it was on the west coast. We started using this money to pay for Saylor's teeth and then we moved again because of the water on the military base we were living on.. (That's another story I will tell.Believe me its great!!)
So we move again and are only there for a Short period of time till we move again to where we live now and That's another great story for a rainy day. Any who I try looking for a dentist to get her teeth fixed and I have no luck finding one that will work with me on the budget I am on and so I have to just pick one.
I love this Dentist they are fantastic with my girls and their needs but they cost an arm and a leg. Literally!! They charge me 105.00 dollars just to use the nitrous oxide and with three small children under the age of six and two with autism, I really don't have a choice. After taking all my girls in for their exams because rumor is that Obama is going to reduce the medical we have to give to the people with less then perfect medical.
I know Obama now lives in the White house and now has more money then I could ever dream of buying suits, cars and expensive dogs but I don't think he accurately checked the medical and dental that is provided by the military.
The Truth is that the Medical and Dental that is provided by the Military is worse then state medical and finding a doctor or dentist that takes military medical is harder then finding a doctor that takes state because the military pays less then the state. I know because I have now been on both at some point in time.
So any who, I wanted to make this as short as possible but I don't think that is going to be the case. After I take them all for exams I start getting the treatment plans in the mail and when all is said and done, I will owe them again over 4000.00 dollars and that is with my dental plan.
So I say okay, I will just have to figure it out and after paying for the last four month 400.00 dollars a month and now all my kids are done.. I find out that Saylor will not be having any more work done because her insurance ran out. What do you mean her insurance ran out? DO you see her mouth? And because of this they are not going to finish the front of her bottom and top teeth because I have no more insurance and they don't want me racking up a bill that I cant afford to pay.
The funny thing about this is that when you go to the dentist they tell you how important it is to save their teeth even as baby ones but if you don't have the money to pay for them, they are more then willing to tell you that they are not worth saving because they are just baby teeth and they are going to fall out any way.
Hello, are you serious? You want me to leave her rotting teeth in her mouth because you know that I cant afford to pay without my insurance?
Okay, so I get to the front desk after the dentist tells me I need to keep an eye on her mouth looking for gum pimples which indicates that their is an abscess and finding out that I myself have a gum pimple because I couldn't fix my own teeth knowing that my girls needed work first.
So I am standing at the counter and I ask the lady for my grand total when the lady next to her looks at the screen and says, You know you don't have good insurance?
I said I know, and if I talk about it I will start crying and of course as soon as I said that I started hysterically crying and I couldn't stop. She reluctantly hands me a piece of paper with the grand total of 2313.00 dollars owing.
Holly cow, that's a lot of money and not all the work Saylor needs is done. How is it my husband dedicates his life to serving his country and I cant get my kids teeth fixed.
Okay I am now a wreck and I still have to come back in two hours for my other daughters appointment. I paid them 100 dollars in cash and a 100 dollars on my card so I would have 30 dollars in cash to take them out to lunch while we waited. After we ate and waisted time, I went to star bucks to get a coffee, still going of two hours of sleep and my heart is sitting in my stomach.
When I got to Starbucks my older daughter started harassing me over a strawberry frapachino so when I got to the intercom I ask the guy if I could just sell him my oldest daughter for the coffee drink? He started laughing and agreed he would take her jokingly and then had the lady give me my coffee for free.
Why? I said.. And the lady said the barista just said its on the house.
I started crying again because his random act of kindness made my day.. How nice was that!!
I wish the story ends here but it doesn't. The Ending to a long and emotional day resulted in my husband and kids falling asleep before I did and I have still only had two hours of sleep and I sit next to my husband on our bed while he sleeps.
He wakes up suddenly grabbing me and calling my name. He is in awful pain and delirious from not being quite awake yet and his stomach hurting badly. After about an hour of searching the internet for the symptoms, he says he is ready to go to the hospital.
I watched my husband leave in an ambulance as my girls slept unknowingly. I laid awake again till 6 in the morning waiting to hear what was going on before I fell asleep. I don't know anyone who I can call in the middle of the night, to come watch my kids so I had to stay home waiting to hear from him.
While I was sleeping with the phone I must have turned it on because when I woke three hours later and called my husband, he was on his way home with the fire department. They gave him a ride home because he couldn't get a hold of me..
I felt awful.. The verdict was that he had Kidney stones.. Yep that I heard is the closest a man can get to child birth.
So now in 48 hours I have had five hours of sleep and my husband was in so much pain all he could do was sit trying to stay comfortable.
While he was sleeping I went and filled his prescriptions and guess what the co-pay was? Nothing.. Because he is an active duty member everything is free for him but even though I and my kids stand next to him day in and day out, moving with him and loving him while he is mainly gone at work. I and my children are not good enough to get the same coverage as he does.
I am now on an antibiotic for the abscess I have in my mouth awaiting to have six teeth pulled for partial dentures at age 32. Its kind of sad if you think about it.. I don't have the coverage I need to take care of my own teeth nor my kids that it has resulted to dentures at such a young age and my five year old has to push on her teeth daily hoping to get them loose so they will fall out before they abscess.
In the big scheme of things, I think that our government should reanalyze the care it provides for their military and their families.

Its On, like Donkey KONG

So I found my motivation to lose weight. And so I say again, Its On, like Donkey KONG.. I have been struggling since my first post to lose the weight I have gained since moving 3000 miles from home. Here on the East Coast they have every ice cream you can ever imagine.. I really never liked ice cream till moving here and the heat gave me an excuse to eat it.

I originally lost almost thirty pounds right before we moved here and now I gained it back plus twenty more. I think I was on a new diet, "lets see how fat I can get.."

As for my motivation, it came to me last night when the baby sitter arrived to babysit so we could go to the Red Sox game for my husbands birthday,. She works with my husband and she was not the one who babysat when we went to dinner the other night.
When she first arrived at the station for duty, I asked my husband if she was pretty and of course like every good husband, he said, No. So I was cool with that, because as long as I know she is not pretty then I should have nothing to worry about.

Normally I am not a jealous person, but since I have gained the weight I am much more insecure and I worry I am going to lose my husband to a skinny, younger women. Don't get me wrong, I believe by husband loves me with all his soul, and we are sincerely soul mates, but when your overweight you cant help but worry about how your husband may perceive your weight gain.

So any who, I was all ready to go and I was outside watering my flowers when she arrived. I turned around and before I saw her face, I saw her cleavage. She was wearing a pretty tank top with her boobs pushed together and up, my first reaction was to start smacking her boobs and send her home crying,.

Who shows up at their bosses house with her boobies hanging out? I was so flabbergasted by this, it took me a while to notice her face and when I did I found she was actually pretty.. NOT Hot, but pretty and the first thing my six year old said was, " Your pretty."

I then would have rather stayed home with my girls, then go to the Red Sox game. When showing her around the house there was point when I was following behind her and I noticed the white cargo pants she was wearing were almost see through and she was either wearing no panties or a thong. I was not sure why she would dress so sexy to come watch 5 little girls but I was not impressed at all.

I can guarantee I wont be asking her to babysit again. Unfortunately the girls had a great time, but all I could think of was the movie Big Momma 2 with Martin Lawrence, when he goes and applies to for the Nanny position. He notices the pretty blond with huge boobs and says to her, you must tan naked because you have no tan lines, and then asked why she doesn't work for her last employer any more. It was because they were divorced after having her as a Nanny..

The other day before my husband and I went to Costco, this infomercial came on for this new exercise machine. It actually looks really fun, and so I ordered it, and now I am just waiting on the arrival of it. I am not sure the name but I will tell you how it works and the name when it gets here but the cool thing was, they guarantee you will lose 10 pounds in two weeks while just doing three minutes a day. I figure if I do 30 minutes a day, I will have lost all my weight in one week... Now that rocks..

Knowing that goal is unrealistic but fun to think about let me tell you about this machine. Its up off the floor and its an angled disk with handle bars. You put your hands on the bars and then place your knees in the knee holders that are located at the bottom of the disk. You move your knees from one side to the other while holding on to the bars. It is suppose to be equal to doing 100 sit ups in 3 minutes while getting your cardio. I don't know how well this is going to work but since my problem area is my stomach after having five kids, I am praying this works because I hate doing sit ups.

My problem with weight loss this time, is I love food. So what I am hoping is that if any of you have any ideas about things I can cook that are low in carbs, low in saturated fat and sugar I would so greatly appreciate it.

I am the worst at thinking of new things to cook. I usually cook the same thing because I know its healthy and I don't have to worry about reading everything just so I can cook it.

I had been meaning to add my food list to this blog but have not found the time to do so, but I am hoping we can maybe switch food ideas and help each other out.

I also wanted to thank you all for your wonderful comments, kind words and most of all for following my blog. When I first started this blog I couldn't imagine that anyone would be interested in what I had to say but if I can make you laugh and bring some sunshine to your day then it is all worth it.

Life is to short to sweat the small stuff

If there is a bit of advice that I can ever offer it would be this.. Life is to short to sweat the small stuff. Most people don't learn this until they are older, their kids are grown and or they have grand kids. The sad thing is that time can pass and you can miss so much if you learn this to late.


I don't want to be the person who misses out on the little things like, the hugs, kisses, funny questions, and the sincere "I love you Mommy."


I have been blessed to have the opportunity to raise five beautiful little girls and I cant imagine taking for granted the fact that I get to enjoy these little people as long as they let me. The love is unconditional and the reward is priceless.


Is my house clean? NO Are the beds made in the morning?NO Are there dishes to make dinner?NO Can I find matching socks? No Is dinner on time?NO


There is not enough time in the day to make sure that everything is perfect all the time. Yes, everyone has chores but if they get done they get done. If they don't there is always tomorrow. The funny thing about my house is that I have a sign that says, " My house was clean yesterday, Sorry you missed it." That statement is so true.



I had to call the cable guy one day to come and fix the cable but I couldn't invite someone in if things were total chaos. So I cleaned and cleaned until everything was put away and it look presentable. Now every time we clean for someone to come over my little girls ask, "Is the Cable Guy coming?"


Yes, I agree that things need to be clean, and that there needs to be structure in a home but I also believe that kids should be kids and that enjoying life with the ones you love is so much more important then that.


My dad passed away when I was 23 and I was devastated for a very long time. I wasn't angry that he was passed but I was more angry that I had wasted 23 years with my dad expecting he would always be there. Even though I know people die, I guess I thought my dad was indestructible and that he would always be there. Nope, not the case. If I could have foreseen into the future and known my dad was going to pass so quickly, I would have enjoyed even the bad times.


My dad was an alcoholic just like most dads in my time and all drunks repeat themselves. Don't ask me why, but they do. My dad made my childhood miserable most of the time and being a mean drunk didn't make it any better, but if I knew then what I know now I would have done it all with a smile. I would have looked at my dad with compassion and sympathy rather then anger. I would have seen that his issues were out of his control because he had an illness and I would not have taken it so personally. I would have had more good times with my dad rather then bad because as an adult now, I know that you can change any situation by your attitude. I was an angry little kid and so I fought back instead of taking in the situation and learning from it. I know I was a kid and that's why I didn't think that way but my point is that life is to short. He was only 53 when he died and that was not enough time for me to tell my dad I loved him even though he wasn't the best dad.


I also learned how important it is not to take for granted the people you have in your life today because tomorrow may never come. I learned how important it is to tell my kids how much I love them every moment of every day. I also learned that children deserve respect no matter how little they are.


I was going through a rough time with my dad when I was around 15 years old and I had just got home from church with a friend. My dad was already drunk and one thing he loved to do, was lecture me about absolutely nothing. I was not in the mood this day I think, because when I got home he immediately started in on me and I must have given him a look of irritation because he pointed his finger in my face and said, "you need to respect me." The funny thing was that I just had been at church and the pastor had said something that had pertained to this situation.


He said, that the bible says we need to respect our children before we can expect them to respect us. I remember being so shocked when he had said this. " You mean I am worthy of respect?" I'm just a kid, I didn't know that we were suppose to be respected what so ever, let alone by your parents.


So when my father had said that, I had grown ten feet tall and said. "Respect me first and then I will respect you!"


I saw my dad speechless for the first time. I quickly shrunk back to my normal size because after I said it I realized that I had just sassed my dad. I turned and ran as quick as I had said it and believe it or not, he left me alone for the rest of the night.


I tell this story because I think with all the worldly issues that can make the world seem so overwhelming. We miss the important things!


If there is only 5 things my children learn from me, then I have done my job. They would be, Compassion, love, honesty, forgiveness and that all things are possible with God by your side.


There is really nothing more important then that and If you look at the big picture with out these qualities what kind of person are you creating.


If I can spend all day watching my kids be kids, I will have lived my life to the fullest. We don't have much and I couldn't imagine having more but what we do have is each other and without the love of my children, husband and family.. Life would be meaningless.



So remember when choosing what battles to fight, make sure they are worth fighting and that in the end your children know you love them.



What I know today is that I wouldn't change my past for anything. My past is what has made me who I am today and I don't regret any moment of it. Had my childhood been any different I may not have the love for life and my kids that I do and I wouldn't be me...

Sorry this blog was not as funny but I will be back with more. By the way..My neighbors have been coming on the weekend to fix things up for their joyous arrival on June 1st. So I have been having my girls do the Cha Cha Slide every time they are here. Just a little glimpse for them to see what they have to look forward to moving in next to us. Having five kids and myself do the Cha Cha slide on the hardwood floor can get pretty loud...

As Good As It Gets..

Last night was the first night out for my husband and I in nearly two years. I should have started working out a lot earlier then just the week before. I love those women magazines that you buy off the rack when you check out, they have lots of info in them and the advice I got last week was quite good.
It had an article about skipping lunch and eating a snack before and then a snack three hours later. I figured this would work for me except when I went to a picnic with my daughter at her school, I found myself wanting to tackle her little friend for her lunch. I was eating a lunchable and she had chicken and mashed potatoes. I was willing to give her everything in my wallet just to have her lunch. The little crackers and meat was not cutting it since not eating anything but snacks for the last week.
So my reason for the quick weight loss was, my husband is in the Coast Guard and his boss is moving to another station. I had two weeks to get some of this weight off before having a farewell dinner with them. Except I didn't utilize the whole two weeks, just the last one.
Whats my problem? Well I like food and I have no will power!!
I also have no nice clothes to wear because I wont buy myself anything until I lose the weight otherwise I will just get comfortable with what I'm wearing and give up. So, I get this magazine in the mail for this women clothing, OK that's good. I'll just order something out of that and have something nice to wear for this upcoming dinner. I ordered this white shirt that looked awesome on the lady in the magazine and these cargo type nicker pants. I originally wanted the black shirt and black cargo pants but of course they were out of both those colors and I needed something to wear, so I went with the white shirt and green cargo.
Oh My Goodness, what was I thinking.
White does not work good with fat and I was also pasty white after a long winter with no sun. What happens next is classic. I love tanning because the sun makes me happy and less gloomy, so I have a star thought. I will get tan really quick and the white shirt wont make me look so big. Right? Not
Now instead of just looking fat, I look like a tan umpa lumpa in a marshmallow costume. I really wanted to go buy a different shirt but my husband insisted that he liked the shirt and I looked beautiful.. I don't know if he was trying to fool me or him..
Oh and I am going through pre-menopause so the hot flashed I had during the dinner made little beads of sweat appear on my forehead and my skin turn red. Oh that was fun..
So to start of the night we get in the car and start down the road. I decided that I didn't like my hair any more and I went to pull down the visor mirror and something hits my hand and landed on my shirt. When I looked down I saw legs moving and I started screaming...."ITS A SPIDER" Yes it was small but I swear this was a mini tarantula. My husband pulls over and uses a piece of paper to flick it off my shirt, I then got out and started jumping up and down on the side of the road to hopefully shake it off if it were still on me.
Okay Spider is now dead and we are headed to dinner. When we get there I see its a seafood house, which I don't eat seafood and I don't even like the smell.. Yeah me,,
Every one is dressed to the nine in their designer clothing and matching purses, jewelry and so on.
I bought my pants at walmart!!!
It was one of those dinners where you get asked lots of questions you really don't want to answer and then you sound like an idiot when you do answer,. I would have much rather been home watching BONES and eating Pizza with my girls.
We were waiting on my husbands boss to get there when this guy introduces himself to me and then says we have met before. I said, okay I guess so and then turn to my husband and ask when his boss is going to arrive so we can eat and get home. He replies with, "that was my boss"
OH MY, I can not believe I just did that. I told this guy he was one of many coasties I had met and obviously us meeting was of no importance to me because I don't even remember who he was. I was so embarrassed and had to apologize for not knowing who he was. Seriously I had only met him once and it was over a year ago.. How was I suppose to remember? I cant even remember which of my kids are born in what year and I am suppose to remember this guy..AHHH
So that's not the only time I put my foot in my mouth. I was then talking to the XPO whom I have never met and I decided to tell him that the coast guard guys here are a bunch of weenies because they are on alert when the winds reach 30 miles per hour. On the West coast it blows like that constantly and then when my husband told me that was the XPO, I really wanted to go home..
Then we sat at the same table as my husbands boss, his wife and another couple. That was fun..
His wife would ask me a question, I would answer and then she would stare at me while shaking her head as if I was suppose to say more. I hate that... My mother in law does that to me and I just want to run away. Why do people look at me like my answer wasn't good enough, or it was not the right answer or are they looking deep into my soul to see whats in there?
Any who, while trying to get thin and tan for this dinner I decided to kill two birds with one stone and I tanned naked in my back yard, in hopes to scare off my neighbors. If it were me looking into someones backyard and saw some fat naked lady tanning on her back porch... Id move!!!

How poor people spend money..

So... funny thing is, it could not be a more beautiful day for mothers day. The sun is shinning, wind blowing and the sun delicately touches my face. My girls are playing without much fighting and my husband is finishing the floor up stairs and here I sit writing this blog. I want Barbecued chicken, potatoes salad and corn on the cob for dinner, easy right.. Except I need more things for this dinner.
I decided to go out with my youngest and get the rest of these things for dinner but my husband couldn't find his wallet so I had to make due with what I had in my purse. On one card I have 9 dollars, 15 on the other and 40 dollars in cash and minus 50 on another card. Seems easy enough I know but not for a family of 7. I had a empty tank of gas and by the way, gas prices didn't stay low enough, long enough for me.
I put 10 dollars in my gas tank, bought charlie some popcorn and gum. I am now down to 6.00 out of one of my twenty's.. were still good right?
So we get to shop and stop and I get what I need and proceed to the self check out because what I am about to do is kind of embarrassing. I buy the corn, eggs and butter with my card that had 9 dollars on it.. "that's gone." Then I buy the coffee and corn holders with the card that has 15 dollars on it .."that's gone." Then I use cash to buy the Coffee creamer,potatoes and barbecue sauce.. After all is done I have 26 dollars left but I forgot to get something to drink for the girls. I stopped at the convenient store and picked up a 12 pack of sprite and you can estimate how much I have left.
One reason I can be happy about being poor is that God provides me with what I need and nothing more. I am humble and happy with what I have and I can say the same for my kids. If I come home with a piece of Gum out of a gumball machine because the quarter was the only thing I had left, I can honestly say they would be content.
Another great thing about being poor is that I want more, but I don't get disappointed when I don't get it, I also have the next paycheck to look forward to. If I didn't have that I think I would get board, and it gives me a goal to reach.
Don't get me wrong, I would love to have matching sheets and bed spreads for my kids or enough money that I didn't have to always say no to my kids. But what we want is not as important as what we need and if at the end of the day my kids have full tummy's, a warm bed to sleep in and the love of God what else is there really?

Mom, your too fat!!

If you want to know how you look or if your overweight just ask your kids. We teach them to be honest in all circumstances or there will be consequences, so you cant expect any less then that when it comes to how mommy looks. If you cant trust your husband to tell you the truth when you ask him if your too fat, just as one of your kids if you can ride their bike. Most likely if your overweight they are going to respond with " NO, your to big your gonna break it!"



Yes, I'm fat and I could use the word overweight but I know that is just a nice way of saying fat so lets just be honest. My daughter who is three was sitting next to me one morning pushed on my stomach and said, " Your fat mommy." The sweetest thing about this moment was that she understood my facial expression. When I pouted she changed her response to, "no your not fat mommy."



I'm not fat because I have five kids.. unfortunately my youngest is almost four and I cant use that excuse anymore, besides Ive seen many women have several kids and still look fantastic after birth,, " I hate those women.." My only excuse is I have no will power, and I love food.



No really I know why I am overweight and I would like to take you on my journey to lose weight. Anyone who want to join me is welcome with open arms and having a support system is wonderful.



Let me tell you my story first and hopefully you will understand why we keep the weight on. I gained 50 pounds with my first pregnancy and then the same with my second. I was so young I thought you needed to feed your baby everything in the fridge and cupboards and then some. I was also in a bad marriage and the depression was overwhelming.



I was now 23 and weighed 200 pounds with two kids. I hated who I was and took for granted my health. It wasn't till my dad passed away 2 months after I had my second daughter that I realized the life I was living was not the one I intended for my future. I was just Roxanne in apartment number 21 and my dreams were bigger then that.



I left my husband two months later and moved in with my mother, and when I was looking in the mirror one day I realized how fat I was. For some odd reason I knew I was fat but had no idea what I really looked like.



I began a journey to eat right and exercise while looking for a job to raise my family. Since I was now doing it on my own, I had this sense of confidence I never had before and Independence was a reward I never new could feel so good.



My first weight loss success was a wild roller coasters ride. I would do really well for a few weeks and then find myself eating a bag of cookies. This ended up being my biggest secret to weight loss even though at the time I felt so guilty and failure was depressing. The best advice I can give you is when you end up eating that bag of cookies, don't feel guilty. Just remember you cant do it again right away and that you have to work even harder not to do it the next time. Also use these moments as treats to yourself for doing so well... I don't suggest eating an entire bag of cookies like I did but treat yourself for doing well.



I hate exercising.. I know most people hate it and the ones who say they like it most likely are just obsessed with the exercise. I do like to dance and so do kids, so use it to lose the weight. Pick up beat, fast pace music, gather your kids in one room and rock out. Not only will your kids love it but you will feel fantastic afterwards. Also I believe that toning your muscles is also very important to add shape to your body and make you feel strong. Once you have rocked out with your kids, throw in a few sit ups and push ups. Anything that will tone your muscles and it also keeps your heart rate up after dancing to continue the fat burning.



So back to why I am fat. I lost the weight once and then gained it back after having three more kids.. Ahhhh... where did they all come from? I gained no weight with my third one, which was amazing after gaining 50 with each of my first two pregnancies. Then I gained about 20 with my fourth and 30 with my fifth but it wasn't the pregnancy that did it to me.



Obviously I got remarried and that's how I ended up with the other three children but having my fifth daughter is what brought on the weight gain. I ended up having complications with this pregnancy and when she was born she became ill. This took a huge toll on my emotional well being. When I look back on it now it seems so crazy and all of it is like a blur.



We ended up spending the first two years in and out of the hospital and I ate a lot of hospital food. You would think that if your in a hospital they would at least serve healthier food, or I could have made better decisions. I think I hit 220 pounds after all was said and done, and when I visited my doctor she said quit eating crap, lose the weight or your going to die.



I was not even thirty yet and I had high cholesterol, high blood pressure. They say it can be hereditary but I wasn't going to die like that. My doctor put me on the South Beach diet and I started walking while my oldest two daughters were in school. I was doing really well and lost 25 pounds in the first two weeks of this diet. So why am I fat now?



We got orders and were being transferred 3000 miles away from home. I had to leave everything I had ever know, loved and I was not happy about it. There are not many options to choose from trying to feed 7 people while traveling across the country. I gained all my weight back and then some.



On the east coast, they have more ice cream options then on the west coast. That's my story and I am sticking to it... So to make an even longer story short, I'M FAT and I am tired of it. I don't want to be an embarrassment to my family and I want to be able to enjoy doing what my kids love to do without feeling like everyone is pointing at the fat lady who is going to break the swing.

We gain weight becuase we are not happy with the way things are. Something in our lives is keeping us from making healthy decisions and in order to lose the weight we need to find out what it is and try to change it. If you cant change it try and make it managable so that focusing on your weight loss is also important.



Thank you for reading my blogs and I hope we can change our lives together and share stories that keep the little moments the best moments.



BTW,,, I did good today and I will share my recipes with you tomorrow.