Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Mom, your too fat!!

If you want to know how you look or if your overweight just ask your kids. We teach them to be honest in all circumstances or there will be consequences, so you cant expect any less then that when it comes to how mommy looks. If you cant trust your husband to tell you the truth when you ask him if your too fat, just as one of your kids if you can ride their bike. Most likely if your overweight they are going to respond with " NO, your to big your gonna break it!"

Yes, I'm fat and I could use the word overweight but I know that is just a nice way of saying fat so lets just be honest. My daughter who is three was sitting next to me one morning pushed on my stomach and said, " Your fat mommy." The sweetest thing about this moment was that she understood my facial expression. When I pouted she changed her response to, "no your not fat mommy."

I'm not fat because I have five kids.. unfortunately my youngest is almost four and I cant use that excuse anymore, besides Ive seen many women have several kids and still look fantastic after birth,, " I hate those women.." My only excuse is I have no will power, and I love food.

No really I know why I am overweight and I would like to take you on my journey to lose weight. Anyone who want to join me is welcome with open arms and having a support system is wonderful.

Let me tell you my story first and hopefully you will understand why we keep the weight on. I gained 50 pounds with my first pregnancy and then the same with my second. I was so young I thought you needed to feed your baby everything in the fridge and cupboards and then some. I was also in a bad marriage and the depression was overwhelming.

I was now 23 and weighed 200 pounds with two kids. I hated who I was and took for granted my health. It wasn't till my dad passed away 2 months after I had my second daughter that I realized the life I was living was not the one I intended for my future. I was just Roxanne in apartment number 21 and my dreams were bigger then that.

I left my husband two months later and moved in with my mother, and when I was looking in the mirror one day I realized how fat I was. For some odd reason I knew I was fat but had no idea what I really looked like.

I began a journey to eat right and exercise while looking for a job to raise my family. Since I was now doing it on my own, I had this sense of confidence I never had before and Independence was a reward I never new could feel so good.

My first weight loss success was a wild roller coasters ride. I would do really well for a few weeks and then find myself eating a bag of cookies. This ended up being my biggest secret to weight loss even though at the time I felt so guilty and failure was depressing. The best advice I can give you is when you end up eating that bag of cookies, don't feel guilty. Just remember you cant do it again right away and that you have to work even harder not to do it the next time. Also use these moments as treats to yourself for doing so well... I don't suggest eating an entire bag of cookies like I did but treat yourself for doing well.

I hate exercising.. I know most people hate it and the ones who say they like it most likely are just obsessed with the exercise. I do like to dance and so do kids, so use it to lose the weight. Pick up beat, fast pace music, gather your kids in one room and rock out. Not only will your kids love it but you will feel fantastic afterwards. Also I believe that toning your muscles is also very important to add shape to your body and make you feel strong. Once you have rocked out with your kids, throw in a few sit ups and push ups. Anything that will tone your muscles and it also keeps your heart rate up after dancing to continue the fat burning.

So back to why I am fat. I lost the weight once and then gained it back after having three more kids.. Ahhhh... where did they all come from? I gained no weight with my third one, which was amazing after gaining 50 with each of my first two pregnancies. Then I gained about 20 with my fourth and 30 with my fifth but it wasn't the pregnancy that did it to me.

Obviously I got remarried and that's how I ended up with the other three children but having my fifth daughter is what brought on the weight gain. I ended up having complications with this pregnancy and when she was born she became ill. This took a huge toll on my emotional well being. When I look back on it now it seems so crazy and all of it is like a blur.

We ended up spending the first two years in and out of the hospital and I ate a lot of hospital food. You would think that if your in a hospital they would at least serve healthier food, or I could have made better decisions. I think I hit 220 pounds after all was said and done, and when I visited my doctor she said quit eating crap, lose the weight or your going to die.

I was not even thirty yet and I had high cholesterol, high blood pressure. They say it can be hereditary but I wasn't going to die like that. My doctor put me on the South Beach diet and I started walking while my oldest two daughters were in school. I was doing really well and lost 25 pounds in the first two weeks of this diet. So why am I fat now?

We got orders and were being transferred 3000 miles away from home. I had to leave everything I had ever know, loved and I was not happy about it. There are not many options to choose from trying to feed 7 people while traveling across the country. I gained all my weight back and then some.

On the east coast, they have more ice cream options then on the west coast. That's my story and I am sticking to it... So to make an even longer story short, I'M FAT and I am tired of it. I don't want to be an embarrassment to my family and I want to be able to enjoy doing what my kids love to do without feeling like everyone is pointing at the fat lady who is going to break the swing.

We gain weight becuase we are not happy with the way things are. Something in our lives is keeping us from making healthy decisions and in order to lose the weight we need to find out what it is and try to change it. If you cant change it try and make it managable so that focusing on your weight loss is also important.

Thank you for reading my blogs and I hope we can change our lives together and share stories that keep the little moments the best moments.

BTW,,, I did good today and I will share my recipes with you tomorrow.


  1. So my 6 year old found out I was trying to lose some weight - you know, the old baby weight hanging around. I was eating healthy and using the treadmill here and there and some of it dropped. And then a few weeks go by and I'm out of the shower changing for work and he says, "Mommy, you still trying to lose weight?" And of course I know feel totally self-conscious in front of my 6 YEAR OLD! Oh just ridiculous.

  2. yes, i so get this. I gained weight when I was pregnant and I still have it and hes graduating high school next much and looked in the mirror...

    and whoa...

    when did that happen?


  3. Wow, I love this. You women are amazing to be so in touch. I was compelled to read your whole story. I know you don't like to exercise but please pick up a program I made for mothers day on my blog- bottom of a few posts ago, short, not easy workouts, but effective, blah,blah,blah.