Thursday, May 21, 2009

Life is to short to sweat the small stuff

If there is a bit of advice that I can ever offer it would be this.. Life is to short to sweat the small stuff. Most people don't learn this until they are older, their kids are grown and or they have grand kids. The sad thing is that time can pass and you can miss so much if you learn this to late.

I don't want to be the person who misses out on the little things like, the hugs, kisses, funny questions, and the sincere "I love you Mommy."

I have been blessed to have the opportunity to raise five beautiful little girls and I cant imagine taking for granted the fact that I get to enjoy these little people as long as they let me. The love is unconditional and the reward is priceless.

Is my house clean? NO Are the beds made in the morning?NO Are there dishes to make dinner?NO Can I find matching socks? No Is dinner on time?NO

There is not enough time in the day to make sure that everything is perfect all the time. Yes, everyone has chores but if they get done they get done. If they don't there is always tomorrow. The funny thing about my house is that I have a sign that says, " My house was clean yesterday, Sorry you missed it." That statement is so true.

I had to call the cable guy one day to come and fix the cable but I couldn't invite someone in if things were total chaos. So I cleaned and cleaned until everything was put away and it look presentable. Now every time we clean for someone to come over my little girls ask, "Is the Cable Guy coming?"

Yes, I agree that things need to be clean, and that there needs to be structure in a home but I also believe that kids should be kids and that enjoying life with the ones you love is so much more important then that.

My dad passed away when I was 23 and I was devastated for a very long time. I wasn't angry that he was passed but I was more angry that I had wasted 23 years with my dad expecting he would always be there. Even though I know people die, I guess I thought my dad was indestructible and that he would always be there. Nope, not the case. If I could have foreseen into the future and known my dad was going to pass so quickly, I would have enjoyed even the bad times.

My dad was an alcoholic just like most dads in my time and all drunks repeat themselves. Don't ask me why, but they do. My dad made my childhood miserable most of the time and being a mean drunk didn't make it any better, but if I knew then what I know now I would have done it all with a smile. I would have looked at my dad with compassion and sympathy rather then anger. I would have seen that his issues were out of his control because he had an illness and I would not have taken it so personally. I would have had more good times with my dad rather then bad because as an adult now, I know that you can change any situation by your attitude. I was an angry little kid and so I fought back instead of taking in the situation and learning from it. I know I was a kid and that's why I didn't think that way but my point is that life is to short. He was only 53 when he died and that was not enough time for me to tell my dad I loved him even though he wasn't the best dad.

I also learned how important it is not to take for granted the people you have in your life today because tomorrow may never come. I learned how important it is to tell my kids how much I love them every moment of every day. I also learned that children deserve respect no matter how little they are.

I was going through a rough time with my dad when I was around 15 years old and I had just got home from church with a friend. My dad was already drunk and one thing he loved to do, was lecture me about absolutely nothing. I was not in the mood this day I think, because when I got home he immediately started in on me and I must have given him a look of irritation because he pointed his finger in my face and said, "you need to respect me." The funny thing was that I just had been at church and the pastor had said something that had pertained to this situation.

He said, that the bible says we need to respect our children before we can expect them to respect us. I remember being so shocked when he had said this. " You mean I am worthy of respect?" I'm just a kid, I didn't know that we were suppose to be respected what so ever, let alone by your parents.

So when my father had said that, I had grown ten feet tall and said. "Respect me first and then I will respect you!"

I saw my dad speechless for the first time. I quickly shrunk back to my normal size because after I said it I realized that I had just sassed my dad. I turned and ran as quick as I had said it and believe it or not, he left me alone for the rest of the night.

I tell this story because I think with all the worldly issues that can make the world seem so overwhelming. We miss the important things!

If there is only 5 things my children learn from me, then I have done my job. They would be, Compassion, love, honesty, forgiveness and that all things are possible with God by your side.

There is really nothing more important then that and If you look at the big picture with out these qualities what kind of person are you creating.

If I can spend all day watching my kids be kids, I will have lived my life to the fullest. We don't have much and I couldn't imagine having more but what we do have is each other and without the love of my children, husband and family.. Life would be meaningless.

So remember when choosing what battles to fight, make sure they are worth fighting and that in the end your children know you love them.

What I know today is that I wouldn't change my past for anything. My past is what has made me who I am today and I don't regret any moment of it. Had my childhood been any different I may not have the love for life and my kids that I do and I wouldn't be me...

Sorry this blog was not as funny but I will be back with more. By the way..My neighbors have been coming on the weekend to fix things up for their joyous arrival on June 1st. So I have been having my girls do the Cha Cha Slide every time they are here. Just a little glimpse for them to see what they have to look forward to moving in next to us. Having five kids and myself do the Cha Cha slide on the hardwood floor can get pretty loud...


  1. VERY GOOD post. I can't write anymore because now I am deep in thought about it. :)

  2. I for got my R in you and now I sound iliterate...

  3. then I seperated my forgot.. That made it even

  4. You're so right. Its weird, I didnt post funny today either.

    Must be something in the air.


  5. Amazing. You put in words a lot of my feelings. Although not as extreme as your father, my father has had drinking problems my entire life. I understand better that I have to respect him for who he is and what his intentions are. I cannot judge him for being a addict, having an illness. We all have our addictions and shortcomings. I wouldn't want anyone to judge me based on mine.

    Thank you for this post!

  6. A heart wrenching blog today, for those of us who did try to ALWAYS please our Fathers and we also tried to MAKE them love us, even though they really did love us...Just in their own sick alcoholic way of love. You have grown and learned a great deal about life from your experience, but your girls will never suffer from the awful quilt and never ending days of blame. You need to thank God that you did retain so much as a child and have been strong enough to carry it to your children lives !!! I'm so proud of your strength, faith & determination that you have set for yourself and your family. BRAVO !!!

  7. I know you were loved by your dad from before you were born to the day he died. I know it did not feel like it or sound like it alot of the time, but he loved you beyond words.