Friday, May 22, 2009

Its On, like Donkey KONG

So I found my motivation to lose weight. And so I say again, Its On, like Donkey KONG.. I have been struggling since my first post to lose the weight I have gained since moving 3000 miles from home. Here on the East Coast they have every ice cream you can ever imagine.. I really never liked ice cream till moving here and the heat gave me an excuse to eat it.

I originally lost almost thirty pounds right before we moved here and now I gained it back plus twenty more. I think I was on a new diet, "lets see how fat I can get.."

As for my motivation, it came to me last night when the baby sitter arrived to babysit so we could go to the Red Sox game for my husbands birthday,. She works with my husband and she was not the one who babysat when we went to dinner the other night.
When she first arrived at the station for duty, I asked my husband if she was pretty and of course like every good husband, he said, No. So I was cool with that, because as long as I know she is not pretty then I should have nothing to worry about.

Normally I am not a jealous person, but since I have gained the weight I am much more insecure and I worry I am going to lose my husband to a skinny, younger women. Don't get me wrong, I believe by husband loves me with all his soul, and we are sincerely soul mates, but when your overweight you cant help but worry about how your husband may perceive your weight gain.

So any who, I was all ready to go and I was outside watering my flowers when she arrived. I turned around and before I saw her face, I saw her cleavage. She was wearing a pretty tank top with her boobs pushed together and up, my first reaction was to start smacking her boobs and send her home crying,.

Who shows up at their bosses house with her boobies hanging out? I was so flabbergasted by this, it took me a while to notice her face and when I did I found she was actually pretty.. NOT Hot, but pretty and the first thing my six year old said was, " Your pretty."

I then would have rather stayed home with my girls, then go to the Red Sox game. When showing her around the house there was point when I was following behind her and I noticed the white cargo pants she was wearing were almost see through and she was either wearing no panties or a thong. I was not sure why she would dress so sexy to come watch 5 little girls but I was not impressed at all.

I can guarantee I wont be asking her to babysit again. Unfortunately the girls had a great time, but all I could think of was the movie Big Momma 2 with Martin Lawrence, when he goes and applies to for the Nanny position. He notices the pretty blond with huge boobs and says to her, you must tan naked because you have no tan lines, and then asked why she doesn't work for her last employer any more. It was because they were divorced after having her as a Nanny..

The other day before my husband and I went to Costco, this infomercial came on for this new exercise machine. It actually looks really fun, and so I ordered it, and now I am just waiting on the arrival of it. I am not sure the name but I will tell you how it works and the name when it gets here but the cool thing was, they guarantee you will lose 10 pounds in two weeks while just doing three minutes a day. I figure if I do 30 minutes a day, I will have lost all my weight in one week... Now that rocks..

Knowing that goal is unrealistic but fun to think about let me tell you about this machine. Its up off the floor and its an angled disk with handle bars. You put your hands on the bars and then place your knees in the knee holders that are located at the bottom of the disk. You move your knees from one side to the other while holding on to the bars. It is suppose to be equal to doing 100 sit ups in 3 minutes while getting your cardio. I don't know how well this is going to work but since my problem area is my stomach after having five kids, I am praying this works because I hate doing sit ups.

My problem with weight loss this time, is I love food. So what I am hoping is that if any of you have any ideas about things I can cook that are low in carbs, low in saturated fat and sugar I would so greatly appreciate it.

I am the worst at thinking of new things to cook. I usually cook the same thing because I know its healthy and I don't have to worry about reading everything just so I can cook it.

I had been meaning to add my food list to this blog but have not found the time to do so, but I am hoping we can maybe switch food ideas and help each other out.

I also wanted to thank you all for your wonderful comments, kind words and most of all for following my blog. When I first started this blog I couldn't imagine that anyone would be interested in what I had to say but if I can make you laugh and bring some sunshine to your day then it is all worth it.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Life is to short to sweat the small stuff

If there is a bit of advice that I can ever offer it would be this.. Life is to short to sweat the small stuff. Most people don't learn this until they are older, their kids are grown and or they have grand kids. The sad thing is that time can pass and you can miss so much if you learn this to late.

I don't want to be the person who misses out on the little things like, the hugs, kisses, funny questions, and the sincere "I love you Mommy."

I have been blessed to have the opportunity to raise five beautiful little girls and I cant imagine taking for granted the fact that I get to enjoy these little people as long as they let me. The love is unconditional and the reward is priceless.

Is my house clean? NO Are the beds made in the morning?NO Are there dishes to make dinner?NO Can I find matching socks? No Is dinner on time?NO

There is not enough time in the day to make sure that everything is perfect all the time. Yes, everyone has chores but if they get done they get done. If they don't there is always tomorrow. The funny thing about my house is that I have a sign that says, " My house was clean yesterday, Sorry you missed it." That statement is so true.

I had to call the cable guy one day to come and fix the cable but I couldn't invite someone in if things were total chaos. So I cleaned and cleaned until everything was put away and it look presentable. Now every time we clean for someone to come over my little girls ask, "Is the Cable Guy coming?"

Yes, I agree that things need to be clean, and that there needs to be structure in a home but I also believe that kids should be kids and that enjoying life with the ones you love is so much more important then that.

My dad passed away when I was 23 and I was devastated for a very long time. I wasn't angry that he was passed but I was more angry that I had wasted 23 years with my dad expecting he would always be there. Even though I know people die, I guess I thought my dad was indestructible and that he would always be there. Nope, not the case. If I could have foreseen into the future and known my dad was going to pass so quickly, I would have enjoyed even the bad times.

My dad was an alcoholic just like most dads in my time and all drunks repeat themselves. Don't ask me why, but they do. My dad made my childhood miserable most of the time and being a mean drunk didn't make it any better, but if I knew then what I know now I would have done it all with a smile. I would have looked at my dad with compassion and sympathy rather then anger. I would have seen that his issues were out of his control because he had an illness and I would not have taken it so personally. I would have had more good times with my dad rather then bad because as an adult now, I know that you can change any situation by your attitude. I was an angry little kid and so I fought back instead of taking in the situation and learning from it. I know I was a kid and that's why I didn't think that way but my point is that life is to short. He was only 53 when he died and that was not enough time for me to tell my dad I loved him even though he wasn't the best dad.

I also learned how important it is not to take for granted the people you have in your life today because tomorrow may never come. I learned how important it is to tell my kids how much I love them every moment of every day. I also learned that children deserve respect no matter how little they are.

I was going through a rough time with my dad when I was around 15 years old and I had just got home from church with a friend. My dad was already drunk and one thing he loved to do, was lecture me about absolutely nothing. I was not in the mood this day I think, because when I got home he immediately started in on me and I must have given him a look of irritation because he pointed his finger in my face and said, "you need to respect me." The funny thing was that I just had been at church and the pastor had said something that had pertained to this situation.

He said, that the bible says we need to respect our children before we can expect them to respect us. I remember being so shocked when he had said this. " You mean I am worthy of respect?" I'm just a kid, I didn't know that we were suppose to be respected what so ever, let alone by your parents.

So when my father had said that, I had grown ten feet tall and said. "Respect me first and then I will respect you!"

I saw my dad speechless for the first time. I quickly shrunk back to my normal size because after I said it I realized that I had just sassed my dad. I turned and ran as quick as I had said it and believe it or not, he left me alone for the rest of the night.

I tell this story because I think with all the worldly issues that can make the world seem so overwhelming. We miss the important things!

If there is only 5 things my children learn from me, then I have done my job. They would be, Compassion, love, honesty, forgiveness and that all things are possible with God by your side.

There is really nothing more important then that and If you look at the big picture with out these qualities what kind of person are you creating.

If I can spend all day watching my kids be kids, I will have lived my life to the fullest. We don't have much and I couldn't imagine having more but what we do have is each other and without the love of my children, husband and family.. Life would be meaningless.

So remember when choosing what battles to fight, make sure they are worth fighting and that in the end your children know you love them.

What I know today is that I wouldn't change my past for anything. My past is what has made me who I am today and I don't regret any moment of it. Had my childhood been any different I may not have the love for life and my kids that I do and I wouldn't be me...

Sorry this blog was not as funny but I will be back with more. By the way..My neighbors have been coming on the weekend to fix things up for their joyous arrival on June 1st. So I have been having my girls do the Cha Cha Slide every time they are here. Just a little glimpse for them to see what they have to look forward to moving in next to us. Having five kids and myself do the Cha Cha slide on the hardwood floor can get pretty loud...

Friday, May 15, 2009

As Good As It Gets..

Last night was the first night out for my husband and I in nearly two years. I should have started working out a lot earlier then just the week before. I love those women magazines that you buy off the rack when you check out, they have lots of info in them and the advice I got last week was quite good.
It had an article about skipping lunch and eating a snack before and then a snack three hours later. I figured this would work for me except when I went to a picnic with my daughter at her school, I found myself wanting to tackle her little friend for her lunch. I was eating a lunchable and she had chicken and mashed potatoes. I was willing to give her everything in my wallet just to have her lunch. The little crackers and meat was not cutting it since not eating anything but snacks for the last week.
So my reason for the quick weight loss was, my husband is in the Coast Guard and his boss is moving to another station. I had two weeks to get some of this weight off before having a farewell dinner with them. Except I didn't utilize the whole two weeks, just the last one.
Whats my problem? Well I like food and I have no will power!!
I also have no nice clothes to wear because I wont buy myself anything until I lose the weight otherwise I will just get comfortable with what I'm wearing and give up. So, I get this magazine in the mail for this women clothing, OK that's good. I'll just order something out of that and have something nice to wear for this upcoming dinner. I ordered this white shirt that looked awesome on the lady in the magazine and these cargo type nicker pants. I originally wanted the black shirt and black cargo pants but of course they were out of both those colors and I needed something to wear, so I went with the white shirt and green cargo.
Oh My Goodness, what was I thinking.
White does not work good with fat and I was also pasty white after a long winter with no sun. What happens next is classic. I love tanning because the sun makes me happy and less gloomy, so I have a star thought. I will get tan really quick and the white shirt wont make me look so big. Right? Not
Now instead of just looking fat, I look like a tan umpa lumpa in a marshmallow costume. I really wanted to go buy a different shirt but my husband insisted that he liked the shirt and I looked beautiful.. I don't know if he was trying to fool me or him..
Oh and I am going through pre-menopause so the hot flashed I had during the dinner made little beads of sweat appear on my forehead and my skin turn red. Oh that was fun..
So to start of the night we get in the car and start down the road. I decided that I didn't like my hair any more and I went to pull down the visor mirror and something hits my hand and landed on my shirt. When I looked down I saw legs moving and I started screaming...."ITS A SPIDER" Yes it was small but I swear this was a mini tarantula. My husband pulls over and uses a piece of paper to flick it off my shirt, I then got out and started jumping up and down on the side of the road to hopefully shake it off if it were still on me.
Okay Spider is now dead and we are headed to dinner. When we get there I see its a seafood house, which I don't eat seafood and I don't even like the smell.. Yeah me,,
Every one is dressed to the nine in their designer clothing and matching purses, jewelry and so on.
I bought my pants at walmart!!!
It was one of those dinners where you get asked lots of questions you really don't want to answer and then you sound like an idiot when you do answer,. I would have much rather been home watching BONES and eating Pizza with my girls.
We were waiting on my husbands boss to get there when this guy introduces himself to me and then says we have met before. I said, okay I guess so and then turn to my husband and ask when his boss is going to arrive so we can eat and get home. He replies with, "that was my boss"
OH MY, I can not believe I just did that. I told this guy he was one of many coasties I had met and obviously us meeting was of no importance to me because I don't even remember who he was. I was so embarrassed and had to apologize for not knowing who he was. Seriously I had only met him once and it was over a year ago.. How was I suppose to remember? I cant even remember which of my kids are born in what year and I am suppose to remember this guy..AHHH
So that's not the only time I put my foot in my mouth. I was then talking to the XPO whom I have never met and I decided to tell him that the coast guard guys here are a bunch of weenies because they are on alert when the winds reach 30 miles per hour. On the West coast it blows like that constantly and then when my husband told me that was the XPO, I really wanted to go home..
Then we sat at the same table as my husbands boss, his wife and another couple. That was fun..
His wife would ask me a question, I would answer and then she would stare at me while shaking her head as if I was suppose to say more. I hate that... My mother in law does that to me and I just want to run away. Why do people look at me like my answer wasn't good enough, or it was not the right answer or are they looking deep into my soul to see whats in there?
Any who, while trying to get thin and tan for this dinner I decided to kill two birds with one stone and I tanned naked in my back yard, in hopes to scare off my neighbors. If it were me looking into someones backyard and saw some fat naked lady tanning on her back porch... Id move!!!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

How poor people spend money..

So... funny thing is, it could not be a more beautiful day for mothers day. The sun is shinning, wind blowing and the sun delicately touches my face. My girls are playing without much fighting and my husband is finishing the floor up stairs and here I sit writing this blog. I want Barbecued chicken, potatoes salad and corn on the cob for dinner, easy right.. Except I need more things for this dinner.
I decided to go out with my youngest and get the rest of these things for dinner but my husband couldn't find his wallet so I had to make due with what I had in my purse. On one card I have 9 dollars, 15 on the other and 40 dollars in cash and minus 50 on another card. Seems easy enough I know but not for a family of 7. I had a empty tank of gas and by the way, gas prices didn't stay low enough, long enough for me.
I put 10 dollars in my gas tank, bought charlie some popcorn and gum. I am now down to 6.00 out of one of my twenty's.. were still good right?
So we get to shop and stop and I get what I need and proceed to the self check out because what I am about to do is kind of embarrassing. I buy the corn, eggs and butter with my card that had 9 dollars on it.. "that's gone." Then I buy the coffee and corn holders with the card that has 15 dollars on it .."that's gone." Then I use cash to buy the Coffee creamer,potatoes and barbecue sauce.. After all is done I have 26 dollars left but I forgot to get something to drink for the girls. I stopped at the convenient store and picked up a 12 pack of sprite and you can estimate how much I have left.
One reason I can be happy about being poor is that God provides me with what I need and nothing more. I am humble and happy with what I have and I can say the same for my kids. If I come home with a piece of Gum out of a gumball machine because the quarter was the only thing I had left, I can honestly say they would be content.
Another great thing about being poor is that I want more, but I don't get disappointed when I don't get it, I also have the next paycheck to look forward to. If I didn't have that I think I would get board, and it gives me a goal to reach.
Don't get me wrong, I would love to have matching sheets and bed spreads for my kids or enough money that I didn't have to always say no to my kids. But what we want is not as important as what we need and if at the end of the day my kids have full tummy's, a warm bed to sleep in and the love of God what else is there really?

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Mom, your too fat!!

If you want to know how you look or if your overweight just ask your kids. We teach them to be honest in all circumstances or there will be consequences, so you cant expect any less then that when it comes to how mommy looks. If you cant trust your husband to tell you the truth when you ask him if your too fat, just as one of your kids if you can ride their bike. Most likely if your overweight they are going to respond with " NO, your to big your gonna break it!"

Yes, I'm fat and I could use the word overweight but I know that is just a nice way of saying fat so lets just be honest. My daughter who is three was sitting next to me one morning pushed on my stomach and said, " Your fat mommy." The sweetest thing about this moment was that she understood my facial expression. When I pouted she changed her response to, "no your not fat mommy."

I'm not fat because I have five kids.. unfortunately my youngest is almost four and I cant use that excuse anymore, besides Ive seen many women have several kids and still look fantastic after birth,, " I hate those women.." My only excuse is I have no will power, and I love food.

No really I know why I am overweight and I would like to take you on my journey to lose weight. Anyone who want to join me is welcome with open arms and having a support system is wonderful.

Let me tell you my story first and hopefully you will understand why we keep the weight on. I gained 50 pounds with my first pregnancy and then the same with my second. I was so young I thought you needed to feed your baby everything in the fridge and cupboards and then some. I was also in a bad marriage and the depression was overwhelming.

I was now 23 and weighed 200 pounds with two kids. I hated who I was and took for granted my health. It wasn't till my dad passed away 2 months after I had my second daughter that I realized the life I was living was not the one I intended for my future. I was just Roxanne in apartment number 21 and my dreams were bigger then that.

I left my husband two months later and moved in with my mother, and when I was looking in the mirror one day I realized how fat I was. For some odd reason I knew I was fat but had no idea what I really looked like.

I began a journey to eat right and exercise while looking for a job to raise my family. Since I was now doing it on my own, I had this sense of confidence I never had before and Independence was a reward I never new could feel so good.

My first weight loss success was a wild roller coasters ride. I would do really well for a few weeks and then find myself eating a bag of cookies. This ended up being my biggest secret to weight loss even though at the time I felt so guilty and failure was depressing. The best advice I can give you is when you end up eating that bag of cookies, don't feel guilty. Just remember you cant do it again right away and that you have to work even harder not to do it the next time. Also use these moments as treats to yourself for doing so well... I don't suggest eating an entire bag of cookies like I did but treat yourself for doing well.

I hate exercising.. I know most people hate it and the ones who say they like it most likely are just obsessed with the exercise. I do like to dance and so do kids, so use it to lose the weight. Pick up beat, fast pace music, gather your kids in one room and rock out. Not only will your kids love it but you will feel fantastic afterwards. Also I believe that toning your muscles is also very important to add shape to your body and make you feel strong. Once you have rocked out with your kids, throw in a few sit ups and push ups. Anything that will tone your muscles and it also keeps your heart rate up after dancing to continue the fat burning.

So back to why I am fat. I lost the weight once and then gained it back after having three more kids.. Ahhhh... where did they all come from? I gained no weight with my third one, which was amazing after gaining 50 with each of my first two pregnancies. Then I gained about 20 with my fourth and 30 with my fifth but it wasn't the pregnancy that did it to me.

Obviously I got remarried and that's how I ended up with the other three children but having my fifth daughter is what brought on the weight gain. I ended up having complications with this pregnancy and when she was born she became ill. This took a huge toll on my emotional well being. When I look back on it now it seems so crazy and all of it is like a blur.

We ended up spending the first two years in and out of the hospital and I ate a lot of hospital food. You would think that if your in a hospital they would at least serve healthier food, or I could have made better decisions. I think I hit 220 pounds after all was said and done, and when I visited my doctor she said quit eating crap, lose the weight or your going to die.

I was not even thirty yet and I had high cholesterol, high blood pressure. They say it can be hereditary but I wasn't going to die like that. My doctor put me on the South Beach diet and I started walking while my oldest two daughters were in school. I was doing really well and lost 25 pounds in the first two weeks of this diet. So why am I fat now?

We got orders and were being transferred 3000 miles away from home. I had to leave everything I had ever know, loved and I was not happy about it. There are not many options to choose from trying to feed 7 people while traveling across the country. I gained all my weight back and then some.

On the east coast, they have more ice cream options then on the west coast. That's my story and I am sticking to it... So to make an even longer story short, I'M FAT and I am tired of it. I don't want to be an embarrassment to my family and I want to be able to enjoy doing what my kids love to do without feeling like everyone is pointing at the fat lady who is going to break the swing.

We gain weight becuase we are not happy with the way things are. Something in our lives is keeping us from making healthy decisions and in order to lose the weight we need to find out what it is and try to change it. If you cant change it try and make it managable so that focusing on your weight loss is also important.

Thank you for reading my blogs and I hope we can change our lives together and share stories that keep the little moments the best moments.

BTW,,, I did good today and I will share my recipes with you tomorrow.